


it was always you (blink back to let me know)

by starglide



Category: Free!
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i hate swimming and boys why do i love this anime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:27:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2293562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starglide/pseuds/starglide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><br/>“It's our last summer together! Pleeeease, Haru-chan? I promise we won't make a mess like last time and – ”</p><p>"<em>We</em> won’t make a mess?" Rei splutters. "That was you, Nagisa! You know that I am always perfectly tidy and – ”</p><p> Mako-chan already agreed as long as you said it was okay, and I won’t make you eat weird things this time and you can pick the movie and we won't even –”</p><p>“Fine,” Haru says. He’s not stupid, he knows there’s no escape once Nagisa has set his mind to something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it was always you (blink back to let me know)

**Author's Note:**

> here, have some tooth-rotting fluff after that punch in the face of an episode. this can take place before season two, or after if canon doesn't disprove it somehow (you can uhhh ignore the summer comment if that's the case?) i can't stop thinking about these gay ass swim nerds.

Personally, Haru thinks that they’re getting too old to be having sleepovers like this, but Nagisa insists.

“It's our last summer together! Pleeeease, Haru-chan? I promise we won't make a mess like last time and – ”

" _We_ won’t make a mess?" Rei splutters. "That was you, Nagisa! You know that I am always perfectly tidy and – ”

 Mako-chan already agreed as long as you said it was okay, and I won’t make you eat weird things this time and you can pick the movie and we won't even –”

“Fine,” Haru says. He’s not stupid, he knows there’s no escape once Nagisa has set his mind to something.

*

No escape whatsoever.

“You go first, Rei-chan! Tell us about your first kiss!” Nagisa insists, chin in his hands, eyes sparkling, ready to give Rei the rare gift of his undivided attention. Which is why Nagisa misses the way Makoto's face immediately flushes bright red at the mention of the subject. Haru doesn’t, of course.

“Well, actually, although one would naturally assume - that is, you'd expect - well, I've been so busy with track and now –”

“Rei-chan! You've never been kissed? Not ever?” Nagisa cries, his mouth falling open in horror.

“It's nothing to be ashamed of,” Makoto says gently, seemingly recovered from earlier.

“Of course it's not,” says Rei haughtily. “After all, it's by no means a reflection on my character, I simply haven't had the opportunity to – ” His words are cut abruptly short by Nagisa grabbing his face and unceremoniously giving him a loud, smacking kiss.

The room is utterly silent for a moment. Then,

“ _Nagisa-kun_! Do you have any idea what you've just done?! A first kiss is supposed to be beautiful and dramatic and, and _sacred_ and now you've gone and ruined it!”

“Aw, don't be mad, Rei-chan,” Nagisa pouts. “You have unrealistic expectations, you know. Kissing is the most fun when you're not taking it so seriously!”

“What about you, Nagisa? What was your first kiss like?” Makoto asks hastily, trying to smooth things over.

Nagisa taps his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm...it was Kaoru-chan from Algebra - or wait, was it Mitsu-chan...?”

“You don't even remember?!” Rei cries, aghast.

“No, no, it was definitely Kaoru-chan. I think. Haru-chan, you're even quieter than usual! What happened with your first kiss?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Haru sees Makoto turn pink again.

“It was fine,” he says curtly. It’s not that he’s embarrassed about it, but he knows Makoto probably is. Makoto’s embarrassed by a lot of things.

“Come _on_ , that's all? Who was it? Was it romantic? Haru-chan, don't leave out any details!” Nagisa wheedles.

“H-he doesn't have to talk about it if he doesn't want to,” Makoto interjects.

“It was fine,” Haru repeats stubbornly.

Nagisa gives him his most pathetic puppy dog eyes.

Haru stares him down.

Nagisa sighs dramatically, clearly accepting his defeat. “Well, that's better than nothing, I guess. Mako-chan?”

Makoto's face looks like it’s going to catch on fire by this point. Haru is mildly concerned. “Ah, um, it was such a long time ago! I barely even remember, honestly. Like you, Nagisa. N-not that I kiss a lot of people! Um.” He glances at Haru quickly, obviously hoping no one will notice. He’s wrong, of course.

“Aha! I saw that! I bet Haru-chan knows what happened. I’m sure you remember, right? Right?” Nagisa pleads.

“No. Of course I don't. Why would I remember something trivial like that?” he replies, then instantly regrets it when sees Makoto’s face. The guy looks like a kicked puppy. Haru sighs inwardly. He’s going to have A Talk with him later.

“As I've said, first kisses are absolutely not _trivial!_ In fact, I'm disappointed in all of you. I thought you of all people would treasure your first kiss, Makoto-senpai,” Rei shakes his head in disapproval.

“I bet Rin-chan would have an interesting story if he was here. None of you are any fun at all,” Nagisa says, sticking out his tongue.

“Anyways!" Makoto cuts in, a little too loudly. “Let's watch the movie now! You picked out one, right Haru? What is it about?”

“It’s about a demon that feeds off of fear,” Haru deadpans, one corner of his mouth turning up slyly.

Makoto turns pale.

*

“Why do you always do this to me, Haru-chan? Do you like to see me suffer?” he complains much later, pressed up against Haru's back with his shirt clutched tightly in hand.

“I'm just trying to help you overcome your fears,” Haru says with a straight face.

“You're a terrible friend. See if I ever ask my mom to make a bento for you again,” Makoto chides teasingly. They're comfortably silent for a minute, listening to the distant sounds of Nagisa and Rei arguing in the other room over who gets which side of the futon.

Then Haru remembers about The Talk, and steels himself. “Makoto. About earlier,” he starts, haltingly.

“Hmm? Earlier? What do you –”

Haru actually feels the exact moment when Makoto remembers, because his whole body tenses up.

“Um, what do you mean, about earlier?” he replies, trying for casual and failing miserably. He inches away surreptitiously. Haru frowns.

“I do remember,” he says quietly.

 *

_They had just graduated junior high, and Makoto's parents had thrown them a small party with a cake and everything. It was finally winding down, and Ran and Ren were being put to bed, so Makoto and Haru decided to walk down to the beach._

_As they sat on the shore, Haru glanced over to the lighthouse, and anxiety crawled up into his throat for a moment. But then he looked over at Makoto, who was looking up at the stars, wide-eyed, and smiled softly._

_“I'm happy,” he said quietly, and then flushed a little, not having meant to say it out loud. Makoto smiled at him so widely Haru thought his face might split in half. But Haru thought this pretty often, and it never actually did, so he figured it probably wouldn't this time either._

_“Me too. It's such a nice feeling of accomplishment, you know?” He paused, then said, “I've been worried about you for a while. I'm really glad you're happy, Haru-chan.”_

_“Drop the -chan,” Haru said out of habit, his ears burning. Makoto just said stuff like that as if it was easy. Haru wasn't good at that. But he tried anyways. “I was - I was worried about you too. That one time especially. So I'm, um. I'm glad too.”_

_Makoto ducked his head at the reminder. “I was being silly. I just needed to know that you needed me too. Which is stupid, I know –”_

_“It's not stupid,” Haru said. "I was surprised you didn't just know. The way you always do. But it's not stupid,” He dug his fingers into the soft sand. “I do need you, but I want you around too. So don't worry me like that again,” he finished sternly, still fighting the stupid blush on his face._

_Makoto's eyes went all melt-y and soft the way they did so often lately, and before Haru could even blink, Makoto's lips were suddenly pressed against the corner of his mouth, his hand gentle on the back of his neck. But just as quickly he jerked away as if Haru's mouth had stung him._

_“Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I - I wasn't even thinking straight, I don't know what came over me, I'm just. I guess I must be really tired after such a long day,” Makoto backpedaled, his face ashen._

_“Makoto. It's fine. Calm down.” Haru said. He felt like he was moving in slow-motion, the world around him fast and confusing._

_“O-okay, cool, let's just. Pretend that didn't even happen,” he laughed nervously. He stood up and brushed the sand off his clothes. “We should get back before they worry.”_

_“Yeah,” Haru said lamely. He still felt like he was in shock, his hands shaking a little as he pushed himself up. Let's pretend it didn't happen, Makoto had said. Haru didn't even have time to process what_ had _happened until they were halfway home, and he felt like he should say something else, but they were pretending it didn't happen. So he stayed quiet, and they didn't mention it again._

*

“Oh,” Makoto says, sounding a little overwhelmed. “It was a long time ago. I wouldn’t have been surprised if you had forgotten.”

“It was my first kiss too, you know.” And his only one. Haru sighs and rolls over to face him. “I don't really think it was trivial. I just said that because Nagisa is nosy.”

“Ah, don't apologize, I wasn't offended,” Makoto insists, but Haru can see the relief on his face. He’s like an open book.

Haru hates talking about this sort of thing, but if he waits on Makoto to say something, they won't talk about it for another three years, if _ever_. “Why did you ask me to pretend it never happened?”

Makoto blinks, clearly not having expected him to say that. “What?”

“After we. After you kissed me,” Haru stumbles on, forcing the words out awkwardly, “Why did you want me to pretend it didn't happen?” He’s pretty sure he already knows the answer, but he needs Makoto to say it out loud if he’s expecting to get anywhere with this conversation.

Makoto avoids his eyes. “Because. Well, because then you knew. How I felt really about you. And I thought maybe if we could pretend it wasn't real, then maybe you wouldn’t hate me.”

Haru reaches over and smacks the back of his head.

“Haru!”

“I could never hate you, you idiot. Even if I didn't feel the same way.”

Makoto looks confused for a second, his brows knitting together, but then slowly realization dawns on him. “Y-You feel the same way about me?”

Haru nods, not trusting himself to say anything else.

Makoto’s face lights up for just a second, before he wilts a little, like he can’t bring himself to believe it. “Why…why didn’t you say anything? You knew all this time about how I felt. So, why?”

“I don’t know,” Haru replies, twisting his hands in the blankets. “At first, I wasn’t sure how to feel. And then you started going on dates, and that’s when I knew for sure that I liked you like…that. But I kept thinking that you might have changed your mind about me, or that the kiss really was just a fluke. So.”

Makoto stares at him in surprise. “Haru, it’s always been you,” he says simply, as if he’s saying the sky is blue.

Haru’s cheeks turn hot and he kisses Makoto hard before he can say anything else embarrassing. Makoto laughs against his mouth like he knows exactly what Haru is doing. Of course he does. Haru takes advantage of his parted lips to kiss him deeper, tilting his head and pressing his hands flat against his chest. One of Makoto’s hands strokes up his spine, and Haru shivers. Makoto clearly feels it because he holds him tighter and pulls Haru’s lower lip into his mouth. Haru tries and fails not to groan. It’s not fireworks or anything as silly as that, but it’s good, it’s _really_ good, and then Makoto is _pulling away what the hell._

“Haru-chan, wait,” Makoto says, looking up at him, because apparently at some point Haru had ended up crawling on top of him. Oh. “Do you think we’re going too fast?” he asks hesitantly, like it’s paining him to say it.

“No,” Haru leans down to kiss him again, but Makoto keeps him at arm’s length. Haru scowls at him petulantly.

“Seriously, Haru. Are you sure? I don’t want to rush this and have you regret it later.”

Haru barely restrains himself from rolling his eyes. “Makoto. I’ve thought about this since we were fourteen. Please shut up.”

Makoto clearly can’t argue with that, because he does shut up, pulling Haru back down and cupping his face as he licks into his mouth. Haru doesn’t try to hold back his moan this time. Makoto has obviously done this before, which annoys Haru, but he can’t deny that Makoto’s _really_ good at this. Besides, he got to be Makoto’s first kiss and if he has anything to do with it, he’ll be his last one, he thinks vindictively. Then he catches up with what he just considered and blushes _again_. Luckily, Makoto can’t see him this time because he’s busy doing some serious tricks with his tongue and Haru, uh, is starting to have a problem. Somewhere in the nether regions.

Not to be outdone, Haru slips has hands under Makoto’s shirt and breaks the kiss, mouthing from his jaw down to his throat. He licks hesitantly, waiting for Makoto’s reaction, which doesn’t disappoint - he gives a full body shudder and fists his hands in the sheets. Haru doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but he’s seen movies. Not porn movies, thank you very much. He bites down carefully and then sucks on the mark he’s probably made, which is…going to be a problem in public. He can’t really bring himself to care. Makoto can’t either, judging from the way he cries out and reaches down to palm Haru’s ass, which makes Haru moan _again_ , much louder this time. It seems like he’s turning out to be uncharacteristically noisy in bed, which is troubling, but honestly, he’s so glad that this is really happening that he doesn’t mind too much.

He decides it’s time for Makoto’s clothes to come off. He sits up and yanks it off of him with a yelp from his friend, and starts on his sleep pants, groaning impatiently when Makoto grabs his hand.

“What _now?_ ”

“Um. You too.”

Haru shrugs, obliging, pulling his shirt over his head unceremoniously. He’s been naked in front of Makoto plenty of times, so he’s not really shy as he tugs down his pajamas and underwear in one fell swoop, kicking them off the bed.

Makoto stares at him in amazement. “Haru. Haru-chan, you’re so beautiful,” he says, softly, dazed.

God. Haru hides his face against Makoto’s bare chest, taking a minute to compose himself. Then he mouths his way down his stomach, stopping at his hips. He pulls back a little and inspects the generous bulge in Makoto’s pants.

“Don’t _stare_ at it like that,” Makoto whines, throwing an arm over his face self-consciously.

“Okay,” Haru says agreeably, and leans in and covers Makoto’s clothed dick with his mouth.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Makoto nearly shouts, his fingers grasping at Haru’s hair, seemingly of their own accord.

“I can’t believe you know even _know_ that word. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Haru says, looking up at him and raising an eyebrow.

“I kiss _you_ with that mouth. I don’t see you complaining,” he says, sounding strangled.

“You need to be quieter so you don’t wake Rei and Nagisa.”

“ _I_ need to be quieter? You’re the one – mmph!”

His protests are promptly replaced by a stifled cry as Haru kisses and licks over the soft cotton. Haru closes his eyes, taking in Makoto’s scent as he noses over the fabric. It isn’t enough. He hooks his fingers over the waistband and pulls Makoto’s pants down, taking his briefs with them. He swallows, his mouth abruptly dry. He’s seen Makoto naked before, but never like this, hard and flushed and wanting, and it’s. Well.

His cock is thick and solid like the rest of him, uncut and curving a little to the left. Haru’s fingers reach out just short of touching it. He suddenly wants to taste him, to feel the weight of him on his tongue, to explore something new about Makoto after years of knowing almost everything.

His mouth feels too small and he has no idea where to start, so he settles for taking the shaft in one hand and licking over the head, glancing up at Makoto to gauge his reaction. Makoto’s got his fist halfway in his mouth, biting his knuckles to keep quiet, his other hand clenched tight like he wants to grab the back of Haru’s head and push him down until he’s gagging on it. Which is. Quite the thought. Haru thinks absently that he might have something of an oral fixation. He takes the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue over it, and oh, that’s – he’s leaking a little, the fluid bitter and heady but not altogether unpleasant. Haru gives him a few more cursory licks before pulling back, the heel of his palm pressed against his own cock.

“Makoto.”

“Hmm?” he replies faintly, his eyes hazy.

“I want to, um. I want you to,” Haru starts quietly.

That gets Makoto’s attention. He sits up and stares at Haru searchingly, a tiny frown on his face. He knows what Haru’s getting at, vague phrasing aside. He always knows. “Are you sure that’s what you want? Have you thought this through at all?”

Haru nods. “Yes. I’ve, um. _Thought this through_. A lot.”

If it’s possible, Haru feels Makoto grow even harder against his stomach. “Oh. Me too.”

“Okay then,” Haru says determinedly and leans over to his nightstand, opening up the drawer and pulling a small bottle of hand lotion out. He doesn’t have any condoms, so it’s a good thing he and Makoto are both virgins. He squirts a decent amount of lotion onto his fingers and lies down, reaching between his legs –

“D-Do you do this a lot?” Makoto asks, his voice rough and eyes wide.

Haru tries not to squirm under his heavy gaze. “Not a _lot_. Sometimes.” _When I imagine what this could be like, what you might feel like inside me,_ he definitely doesn’t say. He turns his head to the side as he slides one finger into himself, feeling exposed and bare with Makoto looking at him like this. He shivers when he unexpectedly feels Makoto’s hands hesitantly brushing his inner thighs.

“Haru, please look at me,” Makoto says earnestly. He reluctantly gives in, meeting Makoto’s eyes. “I want to make you feel good. What can I do?”

Haru doesn’t answer him directly, but takes the bottle of lotion again and pours some onto Makoto’s fingers, then guides his hand between his cheeks. Makoto gets with the program pretty quickly, sucking in a breath and carefully pressing a finger of his own in next to Haru’s. Haru inhales sharply. Two fingers is nothing, he’s done this before, but it’s different when one of those fingers belong to _Makoto._ He pulls his own finger out, realizing that it’s only going to make things more complicated with the both of them fumbling around down there.

“Add another finger, and, um. Spread them apart. Then add a third one when I’m ready,” Haru coaches, swallowing down his embarrassment. This is Makoto – this is the same guy who Haru has literally _thrown up on_ before, so the time for embarrassment is honestly long gone.

Makoto follows his instructions to the letter, spreading and curling his fingers, brows pulled together in concentration, carefully stretching him open. Haru lets him take his time - he’s read about how important preparation is - but after a while, he decides that enough is enough.

“Alright,” he says. Makoto catches his eye and removes his fingers gently, causing Haru to bite down a moan at the loss.

Haru empties a copious amount lotion into his hand and then takes Makoto’s cock, slicking him up generously, looking up to give him a quick smile. Makoto smiles back at him warmly, looking suspiciously watery-eyed. Haru files this away to tease him about later, naturally.

“Are you ready?” Makoto asks.

“Yes,” he answers firmly, lying back down.

“Okay.”

Haru feels Makoto line himself up, and then the head of his cock nudges at his hole. He takes a deep breath, trying to relax his body, and Makoto pushes in slowly. Makoto’s watching his face cautiously for signs of pain, but there is none. It’s _strange_ , more than anything – he feels stretched and full and somewhat uncomfortable – but it doesn’t hurt, really. The feeling of strangeness intensifies the deeper Makoto pushes, but finally his hips are finally flush with Haru’s ass. He looks up at Makoto, who’s wearing an expression of intense determination – determination not to move, probably. Haru overwhelmingly wants to kiss him all of the sudden, so he does, absently grateful that they chose this position.

“You can move,” he murmurs against Makoto’s lips, wrapping his arms around his neck. Makoto groans as if he’s been holding it in all this time and pulls out slowly.

“You – ah, Haru, you feel so good,” he gasps, easing back into him.

Haru sighs deeply and wraps his legs around Makoto too for good measure. He’s still as hard as ever; his erection hasn’t flagged this whole time, and now it’s rubbing against both of their stomachs as Makoto thrusts into him. It’s starting to feel less strange, now. Just the thought of Makoto being inside him, opening him up and filling him from the inside out, would be enough for him to get off on this, but it’s steadily becoming more than just that.

Makoto tilts his head to kiss and bite at Haru’s throat, making him inhale sharply; he had no idea his neck was so sensitive. He shudders as he feels Makoto thumb over his nipples. Now it’s really starting to feel good, the easy friction of Makoto’s cock sliding in and out of him. He’s just started to push back against the feeling when Makoto changes his angle slightly and a fierce wave of pleasure races up Haru’s spine, making him cry out.

“Just like that,” he pants.

“Does that feel good?” Makoto asks, snapping his hips forward more quickly now.

“Yeah,” Haru says breathily. He can’t even bring himself to be ashamed of the noises he’s making right now – he already feels close to the edge and he hasn’t even touched his dick. “Harder,” he chokes out.

Makoto grants his request, and Haru can practically feel him letting go of all of his reservations, fucking him fast and relentless. He braces his hands on either side of Haru, his powerful thrusts jolting through Haru’s entire body. He distantly hears himself making these strangled high-pitched gasps, the only sound in the room besides Makoto’s harsh breathing and the obscene noises of Makoto driving into him.

Then Makoto reaches down with one hand to clumsily jack him off, and it only takes a couple strokes before Haru is clenching down on his cock, coming messily between them with a drawn-out whimper. Makoto’s still thrusting into him, rapid and shallow, his lower lip caught between his teeth and his eyes squeezed shut. Haru reaches up shakily to touch his flushed cheek, and that’s what pushes him over the brink. He comes with a loud groan that sounds a lot like Haru, his hands gripping tight on his shoulders. He stays like that for a moment and then groans again, rolling off to lie next to Haru, his chest heaving.

“Well!” Makoto finally says, grinning, his eyes sleepy and half lidded. Then he goes suddenly alert. “Ah, did I hurt you? Your shoulders, when I…”

“No,” Haru reassures him, a small smile tugging at his lips. He leans forward and kisses him lazily. “Oh,” he says, breaking the kiss, reaching down at the sudden feeling of Makoto’s come trickling out of him slowly. It’s not an altogether pleasant feeling, but his cock still twitches feebly at the idea of it.

“What?” Makoto asks, and then sees Haru’s hand between his legs. “O-Oh! Let me clean us up,” he says, running off to the bathroom, his face red. Haru rolls his eyes indulgently at his fussy boyfriend. Boyfriend? He considers it for a second, then shrugs to himself. Makoto is Makoto.

Speaking of whom, comes running back from the bathroom with a damp cloth.

“Here,” Makoto says, wiping at Haru’s stomach and…other…areas.

“I can do that myself,” Haru says petulantly.

“Sorry,” Makoto replies, a playful grin on his face. “I’m already done anyways.” He tosses the cloth off the bed and lays down to face Haru.

“I love you,” he says, suddenly, tenderly.

“Argh!” Haru buries his face in Makoto’s chest. He mumbles something indistinctly.

“What was that?” Makoto teases.

“I said I love you too, you overgrown dork.”

Makoto beams at him fondly and snuggles into him. “I think I’m a cuddler, hope you don’t mind.”

“How unexpected,” Haru says drily, but he tucks his head under Makoto’s chin and wraps his arms around his waist.

*

“ _I knew it!_ I _knew_ I heard sex noises! Pay up, Rei-chan!” Nagisa squeals elatedly.

“Shh, you’re going to wake them! And I didn’t even bet you anything,” Rei whispers, awfully loudly for someone lecturing another someone to be quiet.

“Get out,” Haru croaks as disdainfully as he can this early in the morning.

“Okay, we know you lovebirds had a long night, so we’ll let you sleep in, but you have to tell me _everything_ later,” Nagisa says sweetly.

“Oh my god.” Makoto groans, muffled into a pillow.

“Good _bye_ , Nagisa. You too, Rei.”

“Of course, Haruka-senpai, I am so sorry – ”

The door slams shut, Nagisa giggling gleefully.

“Well, at least we don’t have to tell them.” Makoto says cheerfully.

“Shh. Sleep.” Haru says against Makoto’s shirt.

And they do.

 


End file.
